Relationships- The Glue of Humanity

So what do you do in the summer?

As a teacher I hate that question because I always assume that it is seeded with contempt that I've got three months of vacation.  First of all, June 15 to August 15 is not three months.  Second, I don't just lay around the house all summer catching up on the soaps or lounge by the pool all day.

This week, the first full week of summer vacation I traveled with twenty-two teenagers to Southeast Roanoke.  While there, we ran a day camp for children in a rather neglected community.  I got to watch a sixteen year old spend her mornings working with a three-year old autistic child.  I saw a fourteen year old deal with a child who came to camp every day with a different name.  A rising eigth grader bonded with a third-grader who still showed the effects of an unlucky birth to a crack-addicted mother.  We painted the porch of a WWII veteran because his elderly neighbor cared enough to seek out help and struggles against the odds to make a neighborhood neglected by the city look presentable again.  We entered the house of a woman who had a hard time getting rid of things, and help her pack things away and clean up her house.  Calming her anxiety was a bigger struggle that sorting through the accumulated stuff.

I learned last week that relationships are the glue that holds humanity together and when relationships are neglected or put on the backburner for other things-- humanity breaks apart.  I went to the home of one elderly lady.  When she started down the front porch steps to meet me I was afraid that she would fall.  Her feet were too sore for shoes.  Looking down I could see that her greatest need might be as simple as someone to trim her nails.  A lawn mower sat in the lawn, but grass was growing over its deck.  Her mental health matched her physical health.  She didn't understand that we were offering our services for free.  She insisted that her grandson would take care of it.  He is a landscaper.  He just cant work on her lawn as long as he has paying jobs that take the time.  Her neighbor knew her two sons.  Apparently they were alcoholics that caused her more harm than good.  In this poor old woman, I saw a soul without another soul to care for her.  Society has neglected her.  No one desires to have a relationship with this lady.

The veteran that I mentioned before, he's no better off.  He was so eager to share stories and talk, probably more so than getting his porch painted.  It seemed that his only companion was the nurse who came to his house every day to take care of him. 

We spent our week in a pocket of poverty.  It wasn't as bad as it could get, but compared to my lifestyle it was bad.  These pockets are easy to overlook.  They're out of the way.  We keep them clustered away from the paths that we cross daily.  As long as we have food on our table and clothes on our back, we can lay our heads in our comfortable beds and sleep well at night without a thought for the children who aren't sure what if anything they will eat for breakfast in the morning.  When we grab a to go cup of coffee and drive to our next destination it's easy to forget the poor old lady who can't get around because she can't get shoes over her untrimmed toenails. 

We drive by, we walk by, we fly over, but we seldom stop.  Stop to just see and hear America, the world.  Outside of our immediate five senses we allow ourselves to become ignorant of the reality of life.  We build an excellent buffer with our nicely trimmed lawns, personal automobiles, membership only swimming pools, and comfortable if not pretentious churches.  A buffer that we mistake for reality to mask and hide the ugly realities that we'd rather not think about.

It's not that we should all be considering "selling everything and giving it to the poor", at least I'm not so sure that Jesus meant that command for everyone.  It's easy to think that our job is to go in and fix the problems.  Jesus didn't do it that way.  Jesus entered our humanity and lived it with us, and continues to live it with us.  He didn't die to end human suffering, he died to enter suffering with us so that we may overcome in time.  He performed many miracles, but he didn't end poverty, hunger, or oppression.  He endured poverty, hunger, and oppression.  By doing so he intertwined the fate of humanity with the fate of the divine.  He created relationship with the world.

That is true relationship.  Enduring the hardship and walking alongside those in need.  Being willing to suffer with another and not just thinking that because I wear better clothes, have my own car, and extra cash on top of it that I can just use my resources to rescue others from their difficulties.  Whether it is poverty of the mind, body, economy, or soul, none of us possess the ability to rescue another but through our willingness to live life together in genuine relationships with others.  Relationships that intertwine our fate with the fate of others.

Relationship is the glue that holds humanity together.  I would bet that where we find humanity in ruins, not just places where people are poor but places that seem empty of hope, we also find that the root of that ruin lays in broken and unhealthy relationships.

That's what I've done and learned so far this summer.  I've got a few adventures still ahead.  I like seeing the counter numbers and site traffic climb when I post frequently, but lately I've gotten comfortable knowing that when I only get around to posting only every few weeks or once a month I'm only going to get a few readers.  But I've got a lot to do if I really believe what I just wrote about relationships.  I'll try to post a few more times this summer if you're interested.  I've got a few family trips, a week at a youth camp, and a big U2 concert to attend this summer. 

So what do you do in the summer?

To The Class of 2011

For the next few weeks, important people across the nation will stand in front of graduates and their families delivering thoughtful and articulate speeches to the class of 2011. I may never make one of these speeches, but after teaching the class of 2011 for the last nine months I decided to draft the speech that I would give them.

To the class of 2011:

Too many people will tell you today that you are our future. You’re not.

Thank you very much, but I have my own plans for the future and depending on yours they may intersect, but no, I’m not looking out with excitement about your potential to take care of my world tomorrow. I want you to change your world today.

You are not the future. That would mean that everything you do today has no other value than what it prepares you for at some future time. After today, some of you who’ve been in my Friend queue on Facebook will make the cut and I will confirm our friendship. But I’ll let you in on an important secret. Most of you have been my peers for months. I learn from you, I grow because of you, I become a better person because you were a part of my life. Now that you turn the tassle from left to right it merely becomes a matter of formality.

Maybe if you’d known this earlier you would have acted more like it. The classes you skipped, the tests you didn’t prepare for, or the homework you either half-way did or borrowed from a friend aren’t really the behaviors I expect from my peers. That’s ok though, just because I’ve called you a friend doesn’t mean that you don't still have some growing up to do. I have a little of that left myself.

But remember, you’re not my future, you’re your own present. So act like it.

All this future talk can lead you down the wrong road. For a long time, us adults were pretty immune from the whim of fad and fashion. It seems that technology has changed this as well. We’re motivated by the next best thing and constantly try to stay ahead of the curve. You’re graduating, it’s time to ignore the curve. Don’t spend your life chasing the tail of the world hoping to hop on it’s back for a ride. Learn who you are, embrace your identity. Whether it’s rooted in family, faith, or passion, embrace your identity and let the world chase your tail, and hop on for a ride.

Everyone will tell you that you’ve grown up in the information age, but the information age is coming to an end. Instead of chasing what’s next, discover what is enduring. The values that never go out of style—creativity, excellence, and generosity. Simply put, create stuff; do it well; and share it. Maybe you’ll make a few bucks off of it, but if you haven’t noticed, we’ve created a pretty rotten economy for you to inherit. Financial success is no guarantee, so you might as well work toward fulfillment. You’re more likely to find it than wealth, and really, if you find it, you’ve found wealth.

To everyone who graduates today, stand up if you were accepted into the college of your dreams; if you’re proud today of the accomplishments you’ve achieved in your sport or performing art; if you think of all your classmates and someone comes to mind that you’ve helped become a better person; if you’ve fallen in love or found a best friend; stand up if you’re just glad to be graduating and finally have high school behind you. ( I assume that includes everyone)

If you felt sick when the rejection letter came, have a seat; if you remember a moment when you forgot a line, hit a wrong note, or just blew a big game; if you’ve hurt someone in your class in a way you wish you could take back; if you’ve been heartbroken, or broken someone’s heart, or ruined a friendship by doing something stupid; if you’ve hated most every moment you’ve endured to make it to graduation today. (Again, I assume this covers everyone)

Congratulations to everyone who was able to stand tall! And also for taking a seat. You’ve experienced life. A rich series of events both bitter and sweet, sometimes all at once. Don’t fail to enjoy and savor the good, but don’t run from and hide from the bad. These are the moments that have made you the person you are and will continue to make you until death. Grab hold of them and own them. Be comfortable with yourself; and when someone asks about your future show them how you’re living it instead of telling them what you hope it will be.

Abraham Maslow said “I guarantee that if you strive to become anything less that what you are capable of you will never find happiness.” I believe that every one of you have something to offer this world. And we need it now. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Do something, do it well, and share it with the rest of us—today and for the rest of your life.

What I Learned at Church This Week

After the early service at church last Sunday, I had a conversation with a friend. He commented on a prayer I'd offered in the early service.  I suppose a little more of my life crept into this prayer, because as I talked with this friend he expressed that the idea of servant-leadership really spoke to him and that he had really been trying to work this out in his own life as a business leader, a husband, and a father. Those last two stuck out to me, because that is what I needed to hear from God this Sunday morning.

I stood there drinking coffee, in the transition time between services thinking about how God comes to us in the most unexpected times; or is God coming to us all the time and we're just not paying attention. So I decided for the rest of the morning to take note of everything that God was trying to tell me that morning at church. Here is the list:

1) Servant leadership is not just a concept for the nation and world; it's probably even more important in the home.

2) Sports and other activities can be a burden or a blessing, it is really depends on what you make them. (learned from non-lesson related conversation in SS)

3) Children are capable of great creativity and great beauty. But they are also capable of the opposite. (learned by watching kids participate in the worship service)

4) Trying to serve your self and serve God leads to either guilt and self-loathing OR obsessive doubt and anger toward God. (learned from the sermon, but it wasn't really the main point, or even any point)

That's just in one Sunday, and only #4 is related to the sermon.  I may post about each of these in the future, but tomorrow I plan on a second round of taking note of what I learn in church.  I know that lot's of people question the value of "Sunday morning church" and see it as more of a relic than relevant, but I really believe that God honors our commitment of time and community and uses this time to both bless and prepare us on our journey.  I look forward to what tomorrow brings.

⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
   for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
   for to you I entrust my life.
⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
   for I hide myself in you.
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
   for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
   lead me on level ground.    (Psalm 143)